It’s important to honor the person everyday, they don’t disappear from your life. There is no loss, they are gifts, people go into the grief and forget how precious and beautiful and happy those moments with them were and keeping that alive is important. It’s not a loss, thank you for what they have brought for you. The person is presence is forever in your heart. There’s a lot of negative connotation with Death when it’s a celebration.
The Tarpana, which is the offering of foods to the ancestors, every morning getting a bit of rice, a bit of black sesame seed on your hands, and put a silver coin on top of that, and call upon 6 generations from your mother and dad’s side, saying the Ho'oponopono prayer, I’m giving you this food, please bless my family. And you pour the rice and the sesame seeds into the sink but you keep the silver coin for the next day. Thinking of the good times, celebrating those times.
Figuring out how can you use that current that they gave you, how can you use the emotions to be the wind in your sails to get you to certain places, but not getting lost in the current.
Ancestor altars are beautiful and calling upon them, which can help you see them in different spaces like the dream world. Grief is about what you do with that energy, you can be really sad or really happy and grateful for them.
In silencing the grief you are able to see the transition, not the death.